So throughout the day, I chat with God. I've decided He's my friend and He wants to talk to me about everything, not just the big stuff. But when it comes to asking God for things, I give a general "Your Will, God" and let that be that. Because I figure He knows my heart. He knows my desires. He knows what's best. AND He knows what will happen. But on Wednesday night, I was like let me really lay it out there for God about our foster adopt process. I asked specifically for three things. First, I wanted the children presented to us as potential placements to be good matches for our home because we're very excited about this opportunity and very flexible and won't be very discriminating of the options presented to us. Secondly, that the potential placements be adoption placements because that's what we really want. We would probably accept a few solely foster placements just to be helping and making a difference, but that could cause us to miss out on adoption placements because our home would be full. So I really wanted the placements being suggested to us to be legal risk or adoption based. Third, I asked that we hear from them soon. We have not had the most responsive experience along this trek and it's easy to feel forgotten about. So I wanted to hear from our agency or our contact person soon for reassurance that we were still making progress and working toward the goal. So that was all Wednesday night. Thursday at 4 I get a call from Jake, our contact person with the agency, informing us of a possible placement. So there's #3. The first thing he tells me about the placement is that they are looking for an adoption motivated home because this case will be adoptable. There's #2. I literally told him you've got to be kidding. The kiddos are within our initial age range (which we were willing to ignore, per case). It is a 4 year old boy, a 2 year old boy, and a 19 month old boy. What a handful right! Going from a family of 4 to a family of 7! So I don't know what God knows, but maybe this is #1 as well. Because it is an adoption case, we don't just get to say yes and get them. We submitted our home study to the children's caseworker like we did so many times through the TARE website (and several times we were not chosen). So we could still be nowhere with nothing to show for it, but if so I still feel like God delights in being in relationship with us and granting us the desires of our hearts when they cooperate with His good and perfect will for us. He was listening and He wanted me to hear His answer. I am encouraged. If we are chosen, it will not be easy. These children were removed from their home because of abuse or neglect and that causes hurt, mistrust and anger as well as undesirable behaviors that were either learned or relied on for survival. It would definitely be a challenge. We hope our friends, family, and community would come alongside us to love on and lift up these children of God who are hurting and in need and not judge and worry and think we're crazy for turning our home upside down. We realize that no one else made this decision or signed up to have such dysfunction as a part of their lives. It was our choice and in being our friends and those closest to us, you will be affected. We appreciate your support and care for our family. We should know if we will receive these boys within the next seven days and I don't know what the transition would look like after that. It could be gradual with several visits before placement or it could be somewhat sudden as the boys are already in foster care. We will let everyone know something when we know something.
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